


changing, losing, staying

by ConvenientAlias



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/F, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-25 15:28:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15643614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConvenientAlias/pseuds/ConvenientAlias
Summary: Ty Lee gapes, and a hint of red makes its way through the thick layer of white. So Suki pats her back again, awkwardly.When she first kissed Sokka, it was in a moment of passion, lacking reason or method. Now, after a battle, would seem to be the ideal time to do the same with Ty Lee, but it’s not the same. Probably because she’s older now, and she’s known Ty Lee for more than a few days, and Ty Lee…And then, even as she thinks about all the reasons she can’t get with Ty Lee just because of post-battle adrenalin, Ty Lee grabs her chin and kisses her on the lips.





	changing, losing, staying

**Author's Note:**

  * For [keircatenation](https://archiveofourown.org/users/keircatenation/gifts).



Suki loses Sokka in stages. It would be hard to say whose fault it is. True, he is the one who decides to go travelling with Aang and Katara instead of sticking with the Kyoshi Warriors and her. So their initial separation might be said to be his fault. But she is the one who sends less letters, perhaps because there is simply less to tell. Sokka and Aang and Katara are off doing diplomatic work and going on adventures, while she and the Kyoshi Warriors are doing basic work on rebuilding damaged homes in war-torn sections of the Earth Kingdom. It’s less exciting even if it’s still meaningful and satisfying, and it’s not the kind of thing you write in a letter to a boy like Sokka, she thinks.

So she writes fewer letters, and makes little effort to meet up with him when he’s in the area, and when they finally break things off it’s technically Sokka who initiates it—he says he’s met someone new, while she is still with the same crowd as always—but she thinks it honestly hurts him more than it hurts her, and maybe even hurts him how little it hurts her. She still likes him, certainly, but it’s not the same anymore, and it’s the distance’s fault maybe, or maybe it’s hers or his, but it doesn’t matter anymore.

Most of the Kyoshi Warriors pat her on the back and shrug. They don’t really get why she dated him in the first place. Dating is not so much a thing Kyoshi Warriors do. Mostly they remain single until a certain age and then, abruptly, they get married. Not that none of them have their affairs along the way but a long term relationship like hers, with an outsider no less, was always odd to him. Their indifference annoys her more than the actual breakup did.

The exception to this rule is Ty Lee, who isn’t really a Kyoshi Warrior and therefore has very different views on relationships. The night after the breakup she comes into Suki’s tent (they all sleep in tents lately—their restoration efforts don’t stay in towns long enough to bother with building more permanent shelters) with a bottle of the local wine and sits firmly next to her, draping an arm over her shoulder.

“How are you feeling, Suki?” she asks.

“Tired,” Suki says.

“I know. It’s very hard.”

“Tired because we’ve been working on rebuilding the judicial hall all day,” Suki says. She stretches her arms. “My back hurts.”

“I can give you a massage!” Ty Lee offers. “Here, lean forward.”

Suki used to be scared of Ty Lee touching her body. Ty Lee, after all, can incapacitate a man with a few choice hits, block his bending and send him to his knees or even kill him. But Ty Lee is also very good at taking away aches and pains, and has in the past couple years become the Kyoshi Warriors’ unofficial masseuse. So she lets Ty Lee probe at the muscles on her back, and within minutes she’s as limp and relaxed as a jellyfish.

“How are you so good at that?” she moans. She lies down on her back. “Anyways, we shouldn’t drink that wine. There’s work tomorrow.”

“There’s always work tomorrow, and tonight you need it.”

“I don’t need to get drunk.”

Ty Lee gives her a look. “You can’t shut away all your feelings, Suki. I can see in your aura that you aren’t happy. You have to release your sadness and regrets, and then you’ll feel much better, and your aura can go back to being pink again.”

“My aura is usually pink?”

Ty Lee nods. “But right now it’s all…clouded.”

“Wouldn’t an aura always look kind of misty?”

“You can’t change the subject on me. We need to talk about your feelings about breaking up with Sokka.”

Suki sighs. “Well, it’s a little sad, I guess.”

“He was your first love. Like Mai and Zuko.”

“Yeah, a little like that. And we were together for so many hard times. We fought together. He was a good comrade. But…” She shrugged. “I guess we’ve both moved on while I wasn’t paying attention. I just don’t really know how to deal with that.”

“Moving on is good,” Ty Lee says brightly. “It brings you one step closer to a new place in your life. Like me. I’ve moved on from being a Fire Nation warrior, and I’m not sad about that because I’m in a better place now.” She smiles extra hard.

Ty Lee still has nightmares after more than a year with the Kyoshi Warriors, and won't talk about the contents. She avoids talking about the past in general, except occasional references to Zuko and Mai. So Suki has to side-eye her at that comment, but she just continues to smile and say nothing. And Suki won't be the one to bring Ty Lee's ghosts out of their graves. For her, leaving them behind really might be best.

Suki sighs.

“Sure, you're probably right. I'm in a new place, we all are.” She absent-mindedly opens the bottle of wine. “But what if the new place I’m in is actually worse?”

She spends the rest of the evening venting her worries to Ty Lee. What if she’s already lost her chance at a really great life? She’s already fought all the battles she’s going to fight (hopefully) and now she’s even breaking up with her best friend from those times. What if the rest of her life is going to be boring? What if she never has any adventures again, never falls in love again? What if her life has already passed her by and she just doesn’t know it yet?

Ty Lee mostly listens, with an occasional “hm” or “I see.” Finally she says, “But Suki, don’t you like your life right now?”

“I do. I guess.”

“You do a lot of good work. I mean, not the kind people tell stories about, but it’s very important.”

Suki sighs. “Yes.”

“As for falling in love, aren’t you still eighteen? And don’t Kyoshi Warriors rarely marry until thirty?”

“If ever.”

“So you have plenty of time.”

“But…maybe it’s already too late.”

Ty Lee grins. “Well, I don’t think my life is done yet. I think there’s lots still to come. So stick with me, and whatever adventures come my way will come yours too.”

Suki smiles at Ty Lee’s confidence. “Okay. I guess so.”

* * *

So it goes.

Do adventures come their way? Depends on how you define adventures. Their restoration team is called down to fringe villages, mostly. The bigger cities are swarmed with earthbenders who can do most of the work on stone buildings, but smaller villages get less attention. That means less excitement, but there’s still some.

For example, there’s a village that has been recently plagued by outlaws. Stray soldiers from both the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom are camped out in the area, and have been raiding this village and a couple others nearby. Lacking a purpose in their violence, they’ve become bandits. Lacking protection like the cities would have, these towns have become their victims.

“Five dead in the past month,” the town’s leader tells Suki. “Yes, our houses have been damaged too, but they’ll be damaged again. We don’t need you to fix our buildings. We need the Earth Kingdom army to get rid of these thugs.”

“I don’t have the authority to summon a contingent of the army,” Suki says, “but we’ll do what we can. Tell us all you know.”

Later that evening, she calls the squad together. They haven’t had an official military mission in months.

“The Fire Nation soldiers are mostly to the north,” she says, sketching a map in the dirt. “They have a camp here, very near the river. The Earth Kingdom deserters are largely to the east…” she puts another circle on the map. “…there are more of them, but few benders, as far as we know. Then there’s a mixed group to the south which includes deserters from both sides. They’re the most dangerous. They’re probably a band that formed while the war was still going on, so they are more experienced and have better leadership. In any case, they’re the group we’ll have to take down first, which means you’ll need to be prepared for both firebenders and earthbenders.”

Everyone nods. Ty Lee asks, “Do we know which of them are benders? If we know, I can try to target them to disable their bending first.”

“We know there’s one very strong firebender who has long, wavy black hair which he wears in a ponytail. He’s medium-short, and he tends to wear a mix of red, brown and green clothing. Short nose, a scar on his chin. But there are a number of other benders, and no, we don’t have a complete description. Most people attacked by this group are either dead or too scared to talk.”

One of the other girls, Rin, says, “These fringe areas really get no support from the government.”

“The army itself is weak in the aftermath of the war, and there’s not supposed to be a threat anymore. Most soldiers have been sent home.”

It’s an old discussion. Many think the Earth Kingdom isn’t doing enough to support its citizens, but truthfully, the Earth Kingdom’s coffers are largely empty and its leadership, after years of cities living in isolation and the Dai Li having free reign of the capital, is struggling to recoup. That’s why individual groups like the Kyoshi Warriors are so important.

They all let out a collective sigh. Suki says, “We’ll attack tomorrow at noon. They do most of their raiding at night so that’s when they’ll be most likely to be in camp.”

“Sounds good,” Ty Lee says, bouncing to her feet. “You guys are always training your katas, and I never get to see you use them. I’m so excited.”

They’re kind enough not to mention that Ty Lee did get a very good sense of their fighting style once, when she and Azula and Mai ambushed them. She’d seen them fight and helped to take them down, then.

The next day they head out early. They don’t have an advantage in the terrain, as they haven’t been here long, but from long training they can at least maneuver silently through a forest.

When they reach the camp, they only delay long enough to surround it before attacking.

The melee is brief. Suki mostly uses her fan to incapacitate bandits and her shield to ward off blasts of fire and stone, though she sees other girls using their katanas and doesn’t blame them. Lethal force isn’t something the Kyoshi Warrior creed encourages, but neither is it something forbidden, and these people would kill if given the chance. By the end of the battle, there are three bandits dead, ten captured and a few missing, probably escaped in the fray. The captives will be taken to the village temporarily, but Suki has sent a messenger to the nearest city already, informing them that there will be captives that need dealing with. This village doesn’t have the resources to hold prisoners for long.

As for the Kyoshi Warriors’ casualties, they’re few, but a few girls are injured, and one has sustained a bad head injury and won’t be able to fight the next day, when they plan to take on the Fire Nation group. Suki isn’t worried, though. This group was known to be the toughest, and it was still taken down easily. The Kyoshi Warriors’ skill and discipline has only improved since the end of the war.

She doubts the Fire Nation deserters can say the same.

Ty Lee is jubilant over dinner that night. “You guys are so cool! And I’m so proud you let me wear the makeup.”

“Ty Lee, we always let you wear the makeup.”

“Yes, but I’ve never fought in it before. Not in a real battle.” Most of their brief skirmishes in the past couple years have been with bandits who thought, seeing girls alone on the road, they were facing an easy target. Such fights never last more than a minute or two, nor do they end well for the bandits.

Suki says, “Yes, you’re a real warrior now.” She pats Ty Lee on the back and then, for some reason, kisses her on the cheek, slightly smearing that vaunted makeup.

Ty Lee gapes, and a hint of red makes its way through the thick layer of white. So Suki pats her back again, awkwardly.

When she first kissed Sokka, it was in a moment of passion, lacking reason or method. Now, after a battle, would seem to be the ideal time to do the same with Ty Lee, but it’s not the same. Probably because she’s older now, and she’s known Ty Lee for more than a few days, and Ty Lee…

And then, even as she thinks about all the reasons she can’t get with Ty Lee just because of post-battle adrenalin, Ty Lee grabs her chin and kisses her on the lips. She tastes of waxy rouge and a hint of smoke and perfume, and Suki inhales her with sharp surprise. Behind them, the other warriors are giggling.

Affairs between girls are common among the Kyoshi Warriors, but Suki has never indulged before, has even rolled her eyes at most of the fond couples, thinking them to be less serious than her and Sokka. It’s no wonder they’re amused to see her this helpless when a girl kisses her. They’ll probably tease her about this for ages.

But she kisses Ty Lee back, and decides the teasing will probably be worth it.

* * *

So it turns out Suki’s romantic life is not over.

Yes, the teasing is immense. Every time she kisses Ty Lee in front of someone else, they giggle or wink or raise their eyebrows. She does not deserve this. She has, since getting together with Ty Lee, offered other couples the utmost respect. Nevertheless, the torment continues.

A year after getting together with Ty Lee, she and the Kyoshi Warriors return to Kyoshi at last. Their mission of rebuilding is not truly over—the process of rebuilding the Earth Kingdom may never truly end—but for now, they have been called home. It is the two hundredth anniversary of Kyoshi’s death (or passing into the cycle, as it is sometimes called when an Avatar dies), and the island is having a festival of sorts to mark the occasion. There will be much prayer but also much dancing, eating, singing, and celebrating. It is the first time Ty Lee has come to Kyoshi, and she is enamored.

“I’m so glad you came home with me,” Suki says. It’s true. The island feels different now. She is older, and cannot see its isolationism as holy or perfect, as the elders still believe. But it is still home, and she is happy for Ty Lee to see it. And Ty Lee reminds her, as well, that although she is coming home, she is not the same person she used to be.

“Your home is beautiful,” Ty Lee enthuses. She loves everything about it. The food, the plants, the people (who look at her weirdly—they are not used to outsiders), and most especially the giant koi. She follows in the steps of the Avatar, takes a boat out and tries to ride one of them. It does not end well, but at least most of the islanders find it humorous, and from then on they tolerate her.

The warriors are a large part of the ceremony honoring Kyoshi, so Suki is very busy. She trains the warriors in the traditional dance, teaches them singing parts, and carefully assigns various tasks for the ceremony. She hits her first bump in the road when a town elder summons her and informs her Ty Lee may not take part in the ceremony.

“Ty Lee is a Kyoshi Warrior.”

“From the stories I’ve heard, the girl fights with her hands and no weapons, without Kyoshi methods, nor does she know or respect our culture, nor is she from here. She is from the Fire Nation and fought against us—against you, though you may have forgotten that in your infatuation. She may watch the ceremony, but she may not take part.”

“Ty Lee fought by our side,” Suki argues, “and she is an honorable warrior. She protected Mai and Prince Zuko, and in doing so helped to bring down Azula. And she’s been very helpful in our reconstruction efforts.”

The elder shrugs. “We honor her by allowing her to stay here, and offering our hospitality. But she is not one of us.”

Suki argues for an hour about it and finally is kicked out. Ty Lee, however, is not upset.

“Well, I’m not really one of you, you know. I’m aware of that.”

Suki hugs her. “You are one of us. Just not for this. I’m sorry.”

Ty Lee strokes her back. “Shh. Your aura’s all gray today. Maybe you should get some rest.”

“Maybe,” Suki agrees. It’s early yet, but she lets Ty Lee lead her to bed, then pulls Ty Lee down with her. She doesn’t want to sleep, but she lets sensation take the place of rest in easing her mind.

The day of the ceremony, Suki keeps an eye on Ty Lee in the crowd, and she seems happy. After the ceremony they run through the streets, buying food from vendors and dancing in the town square. It is a good day, but she still sees the elders shaking their heads at her. Their outright disapproval is much worse than the girls’ friendly teasing.

They do not stay long in Kyoshi after the festival is over. There is a call for help in another fringe town, and Suki calls her girls together. She tells them they may stay here if they want, but she is leaving and taking those who will follow with her. They all follow. The Kyoshi Warriors are nothing if not loyal.

When they are ferried away from the island, she gives the coast a long look. She will return someday, she knows. Probably she will not be gone as long as she was last time. But this place is not her home as it used to be, and she feels that in some ways, she has lost it and will not get it back.

In exchange, she has Ty Lee by her side, and she has a new sense of the world, and she has a mission. She does not know if it is a fair trade for her patriotic childhood.

* * *

When Ty Lee is summoned to the Fire Nation capital, Suki doesn’t find out about it until Ty Lee is already packed up to leave. Then and only then she tells Suki she has been called upon because of troubles with her family. Her mother is sick and might be dying, and she needs all her daughters around her. So Ty Lee is going to be at her side.

“You have seven sisters,” Suki says.

“Yes. I thought about staying with you guys and letting them take care of it, but…” Ty Lee shrugs. “She’s family. If she dies and the last time I saw her is when I was twelve, I’m going to regret it.”

She’s almost twenty now, and it’s true, she has a duty to her family just as Suki has a duty to her people, but Suki is still left feeling bereft. Ty Lee is one of them now. She can’t just leave. But she does.

Suki sulks for a week. Then she calls the girls together and tells them she’s appointing Rin as their temporary leader.

They all stare at her. Rin, in particular, says, “What?”

“I’m going to the Fire Nation capital. I’ll be gone for some time. In the meantime, Rin has the authority to accept or decline missions, and will serve as leader,” Suki repeats. “I’ll be leaving in two days. Any questions?”

Yes. Quite a few. The first one Suki answers is, “Is this because of Ty Lee?”

“Yes. She’s dealing with the death of her mother. I can’t leave her to face that alone.” Suki crosses her arms. “She’s one of us. She should never have to be alone.”

Looks are exchanged, but nobody protests. Suki wonders if that’s because they agree or because they think Suki’s too into Ty Lee to listen to reason, so why bother? But it doesn’t matter. She’s packed and arranged things in two days, and in another couple weeks she’s in the Fire Nation capital, arriving close on Ty Lee’s heels.

She would have rented a place in town, but Ty Lee lets her stay in the family building. Her sisters (who really are all identical to her) are mostly welcoming and glad to meet her. They ask her for stories about the war. They’ve never heard stories from the Earth Kingdom’s point of view, really, and glorification of the Fire Nation warriors’ efforts is discouraged, so they welcome the opportunity to relish stories of adventure. They’re all as easily excited as Ty Lee is.

Ty Lee is quieter than usual, though. She takes Suki on a tour of the city, but it’s perfunctory—she sees nothing that exciting about it. When Suki tells stories she never interjects except to tell her sisters to shut up. She’s bothered by something, probably her mother’s sickness. Suki does her best to distract her. She talks to Ty Lee over dinner, takes her out for walks and picnics. Buys her flowers. Things she’s never done for Ty Lee because their relationship, while intimate, has always been more practical than romantic.

One evening, when they are star-gazing on a bridge, Ty Lee says, “Why did you come here?”

“To be here for you.”

“I know you said that, but…the Kyoshi Warriors need you too.”

“They’ll always be there. I’ll go back.”

“What, and I won’t always be here? I would have come back too.”

Suki shrugs. “I just really want us to work, Ty Lee. The last time I tried a long-distance relationship, it really didn’t.” She runs a hand through her hair. “People change when you’re away. Even things changed. I changed, Sokka changed, Kyoshi changed…I don’t want to lose you too. I don’t have so much left that I can afford to.”

Ty Lee puts a hand on Suki’s neck. “Silly. You won’t lose me.”

They kiss. They’ve gotten better at it over the months and years. Less impulsive, but no less warm.

Suki takes Ty Lee’s hand. “Come on. I think it’s time we went back to the house.”

“But the evening’s barely started,” Ty Lee complains.

“Exactly.” Suki wiggles her eyebrows, and Ty Lee laughs.

They pick up a bottle of local wine from a nearby bar—the flavors in the Fire Nation are spicier than Suki is used to, but she still enjoys them—and walk home. Ty Lee’s room offers more privacy than a tent, but there are still girls smirking at them when they walk down the hall and close the door. Things change when you leave them, and things change when you travel, but other things, Suki thinks, remain very much the same.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this fic for the prompt, "'I can't afford to lose you two' + Suki/Ty Lee". I also did not outline it, so if it seems a bit scattered, that's because it is.  
> I've never written Suki/Ty Lee before but it's fun and I think it's a pairing that makes a lot of sense. Come talk to me about it in the comments or on tumblr at convenientalias.


End file.
